It seems like yesterday we got the phone call

It is amazing. We have been home exactly one week. As I am typing this, I am holding the most precious little angel. I don't know exactly how long we should keep this site up. Michael and I both thought that since Sawyer is here, how much else would anyone want to hear about?! But, I do have a few more stories I want to tell. So, I guess when I run out of stories that will be that.

It literally seems like yesterday when we got the phone call saying we were matched. It was on a Tuesday in late February and we were in the car on the way home from school. I had Brennan and my nephew in the car with me. When the agency called I thought we were continuing a conversation we had the day before. You see, the social worker had called Monday to ask us if our profile could be given to a specific person. I thought that was odd they would ask me that, because surely they were showing it to anyone who wanted to see it. She explained that the birth mother was looking for a family without children, but that was out of state (FL). And you are telling me this because???? She explained her medical and social history. Michael and I discussed her situation later, but seriously did not put a lot into it. You get a few calls while you are waiting about different potential situations. So fast forward to the car ride home on Tuesday. The SW called again and explained the situation. Michael was also on the phone as a conference call (can we say I am a little slow?!). I thought nothing of it. The SW again explained the entire situation of the birth mother and that she is having a girl. I had to pull over on the side of the road so I did not lose the signal. I am still curious as to why she is telling me all this again. I heard her the day before explain that the birth mother did not want a family with children already. She talks for another 10 minutes and then says "what do you think?". OK, about what? She says "she wants your family and she loves Brennan". They had sent her home over the week-end with five profiles to choose from. They ask that you choose a 1st and a 2nd choice. The birth mother came back on Monday morning and said she only wanted us and no 2nd choice! AHHHHHH Brennan and my nephew jumped out of the car and ran circles around it screaming. They did this for probably 10 minutes. I think Michael and I both said yes immediately, but truthfully I do not remember much after that. I do know I managed to wrangle the kids back in the car and the first thing we did was pray for this birth mother and her circumstances. Obviously, she has a lot on her plate!

The following month Michael was gone out of town for almost a week and Brennan was spending the night away and everything hit me! I thought of a million "what if's". What if she changes her mind? What if nobody else chooses our family? What if this is not what God wants for us? I had a nice little pity party one night and literally cried myself to sleep. I have never been that low in my life. Satan saw a slight little weakness and doubt and swarmed in. I had a few friends give me words of wisdom that night that have stuck with me since. I also felt the Lord literally telling me "I've got this". That night I let everything go. I decided that I could in NO way change the outcome. The birth mother would make her decision and what I thought or felt would not affect it. I had such peace!!!! Oh what a life lesson; I have always tried to seek out the Lord's will for our family. That night taught me to just sit and LISTEN! He was speaking to me all along...I just didn't listen.

Again, all that seems like yesterday. Time has flown by and we have now been home a week! Every one is doing great and sleeping! Sawyer is slowly gaining weight. But, at least we are going in the right direction!