What an amazing week!

We have had a few new developments this month. We learned about a month ago that is was very important to our birth mother that she and I actually meet before the big day in July. GULP! I decided to look at this whole trip as something I could do for her, to make her more at peace with her decisions. After Michael and I talked about it we decided I would make the trip, without question and whatever happens, happens. We decided to make a girl trip out of it. My mom and Brennan flew down with me and we had time to swim and of course, go to Downtown Disney (one of Brennan's favorite places). It seems like the day we would finally meet came so quickly. She and I spent the day going to a doctor's appt, ultrasound and lunch. I got to watch the baby in action on the ultrasound. Technology is amazing, she was blinking her eyes! In the end, I got so much more out of the day! I really thought I was doing this for her...well, it affected me so much more than I thought it would. I met our birth mother! Now keep in mind, the entire day felt very surreal. I felt like I was watching someone else's life and story unfold. I am so glad I met her. Just to get a glimpse of who this little person will be in a few years. I really enjoyed it so much more than I could have ever imagined. We will be very blessed to have this precious child have her outgoing personality. But, in the end, it is her decision. We are all at peace with this entire situation. There was a period of time when I let "all the questions" consume me. But, God knows how this story is going to unfold. He already knows how this will end and if this is the child we end up with. He knows all this! If we were to let all the negative thoughts consume our lives, we would be miserable and it would in NO WAY affect the outcome. I could worry all day, every day, but in the end it is her decision....not ours! I am praying for peace for this mother. She is in a hard place in her life and is ready for this to be behind her. It breaks my heart for what she is going through (not because this could be our child, but because she is another human being in a bad place in her life).

Time has flown by SO INCREDIBLY FAST!!! I was worried in the beginning that I would be watching the clock and crossing off the days. Now, I wish time could just stop for a bit and let us catch our breath.

Lots to update on

Well, quite a few things have happened in the past few months. We have learned more about this precious child and the birth mother. She is due by c-section on July 9th but cannot sign her paperwork until July 11th under FL law. The birth mother and I have communicated by e-mail (through our social worker only) over the past couple of months. This situation took a while to adjust to (the fact that she and I would communicate). I have since accepted it this way...should this child end up ours, I want to soak in all I can about the birth mother so that one day I can tell her what she was like. Because, as much as everyone wants to believe she won't, one day it would be only natural for our child to want to know what her birth mother was like. I want to give this woman all the credibility I can. She is worthy of our respect! I cannot imagine the emotions she must be going through and I won't pretend that I know. But, I do know that she is doing the most selfless thing a human being can do. She has pushed all her own emotions aside and is trying to do what is best for this child. Of course, she can change her mind and she possibly might. But, at the end of the day, she could make that decision and there is not one thing I can do about it. We have chosen to not let this consume our lives. I could worry, cry and be obsessive every minute...but that will in no way affect her decision in July. If this child is meant to be with us...God will place her in our arms. And if not, there is another baby who needed us more. We have chosen to look at this whole situation in a positive light and take each day as it comes. Thanks for checking in on us!