My soapbox

What do you say? How do you respond? I love to get questions about Sawyer, adoption, family, anything. But, I am always amazed at what people feel they can say. I always jokingly tell Michael (well, okay I mean it for real) to run stuff by me before he says it to other people and vice versa. I feel some people totally lack that filter. Now being completely honest, I am known for sticking my foot completely in my mouth and down my throat. I don't like it when people tell me to "not say something" because I become so fixated on that I am convinced it will slip out at some point. I have been asked in the last few weeks the following questions...

• I know it is impossible to love Sawyer as much as Brennan your biological child (not a question, but a statement). They weren't questioning, they really knew it "could not be possible".

• How can you possibly send anything to Sawyer's birth mother?



• You aren't going to tell Sawyer about her story, are you?

Are you kidding me?????? I would NEVER deny Sawyer of her story. We love her birth mother and genuinely care about her, one because she is a human being and two because she is Sawyer's birth mother. Why would we ever deny Sawyer of her amazing journey to us. A journey showing God's love and grace. We send updates to her birth mother because I gave her my word that we would. No, we are not really legally bound to do so. We did sign paperwork saying we would on a certain schedule. But, if we don't send anything there isn't anything anyone could do about it. We send it simply because we said we would. It is very important in the healing process to let her see how Sawyer is growing and developing. That she is in a loving home smothered with entirely too many kisses.

And to answer how do we love her like we do Brennan....again, are you kidding me???? I am not biologically related to my husband, his family, his niece or nephew. But, I would give my life for his family. Sawyer is a permanent member of our family. And truthfully, we are at a point now where 99% of the time I forget her story. Okay not forget, it is just not something I am consumed with hourly. I often think, she will do something just like Brennan did, wonder if she will have asthma like Brennan...I forget. I went to the dr a few weeks ago, nothing serious. He went over my labs and proceeded to tell me some of them were normal given Sawyer was born a few months ago. I get in the car to leave and realize that I didn't tell him that I did not give birth to her. I forgot! And for that matter, I don't believe physically giving birth to a child is what makes that child a member of your family. Families are created with all kinds of dynamics. Sadly, society has closed their eyes and sometimes ears to this. Instead of being so fixated on who doesn't belong, let's focus on who does belong.

I so did not mean to get on my soap box this morning, okay maybe I did. I just want people to be more understanding. Just because you can't understand someone's situation, it doesn't make it wrong. We all go through life on different paths. We are all called to do different things. I pray this experience has made me more caring & thoughtful regarding other peoples situations.