and the stockings were hung...

We finally got our stockings hung this past week. We have had our trees/decorations up for a few weeks. But, Sawyer's stocking was still not monogrammed and she just couldn't be up there without a name. I bought new stockings about 5 years ago. They aren't necessarily my taste now, but Brennan loves them and so they stay. When I originally found them, I bought 3; well, because there were only 3 of us. The following year I was in TJ Maxx and found this stocking that matched ours and I quickly snatched it up!

I knew one day we would have another name to put on it. Michael of course thought I was crazy. He just didn't get it. Even then, I knew there was a child meant to join our family. So, after 4 years I pulled the last stocking out of the closet and after adding Sawyer's name, it takes its rightful place on our mantle.

And we have 4 beautifully hung stockings. I waited so long to hang this last one. If it weren't so tacky to do so, I would keep them all hung year round! I tell this story now, because had I said all this 4 years ago you all would have thought I was crazy. Just in case you are wondering, I have not purchased any more stockings.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!!!

Brennan won the cookie contest!

Brennan has been talking about a cookie contest at school for months. They finally had it on Monday. The entire 4th grade participated and all the recipes were voted on by the children. The winner gets their recipe published in the county 4-H cookbook. Brennan wanted to make my Great Aunt Mamie's famous peanut butter cookies. Those cookies bring back a flood of memories. Anyway, there were 15 kids in her class that participated. I pulled up at the school to pick Brennan up and she had a HUGE smile on her face. Guess what???

She won 1st place in her class and is going to be in the cookbook!

I meant to post this with the violin recital pictures. But, Sawyer is NEVER still. I am not exaggerating. That girl is always on the go. However, she gets completely still when Brennan plays her violin. The weeks leading up to the recital when Brennan was practicing more, Sawyer would just stare at Brennan as she played.

Isn't that too sweet!!!

December already!!!

I cannot believe it is December already. This is my MOST favorite time of year. I love all the lights, the trees, the decorations, the food, the baking...I love it all!!! I do not like crowds, but I love the crowded stores where people act as if the world will come to an end if they do not have a specific doll by today (3 weeks before Christmas). Sadly, most people get caught up in what they need to do at Christmas that the "true" meaning of Christmas is forgotten. I definitely include myself in this. I find myself going through a day with a checklist and forgetting WHO my checklist is about. Christmas is not about the lights, the food :( and the gifts. Christmas IS about celebrating the birth of our Savior! Anyway, I didn't mean to get sidetracked, but I love this time of year.

Our family is doing great! Sawyer is growing and changing. She is 5 months old TODAY and is a wiggler (do I say that a lot??). Her latest trick is pushing up on all fours and rock back and forth. She desperately wants to move. She had a doctors appt a few weeks ago and he commented on her need to move and that she will probably walk early. I say all this NOT to brag, I say this because I am scared!!! We are not ready for her to be that mobile. Sawyer's little personality continues to make us laugh.

She still does not love food. She might take a few bites and then gets sidetracked. This is usually how we end up.

Brennan had her violin Christmas recital yesterday and played beautifully!!! She played Allegro and did not miss a note. She picked out her recital outfit and was thrilled when the store had a matching dress for Sawyer.

Have a very blessed Christmas season!!!!

Brennan's podcast

Brennan wanted to record her view of adoption. We are so blessed to have her still be so excited about her sister. Her nine year old heart has been touched by the whole adoption process. She often talks about when she gets married not having bio children, only adopting. It has been so cool to see this through her eyes. Check out her latest idea. She is also writing a book for children about adoption. Her wheels are always turning!

Moving & Shaking

Okay I know I keep saying Sawyer is a wiggler. Her doctor even commented on her need to always move at her last appointment. Well, the funniest thing happened the end of September (when she was 2 1/2 months old). I laid her on her play mat in the living room. I went in the kitchen to wash a couple of bottles. After a few minutes she started crying. Not loud crying, just the whining crying like "come talk to me". I went back in the living room and here is what I found.

She, in a period of a few minutes, had scooted herself off the mat and was wiggling across the hardwoods. She did find a flip-flop along the way and proceeded to swing it over her head. We are in trouble when this girl starts really moving. She is ALWAYS wiggling.

Well, a few days after the wiggling incidences began Sawyer turned three months old. And to celebrate her birthday she began rolling both directions within a week. We knew the rolling was coming. When it actually happened Brennan and I were sitting on the living room floor with her. Brennan and I were consumed with trying on these cute new boots Brennan got. We turned around to see this sweet face staring back at us. Sadly, we missed the first roll!

This girl loves to move!!! She also loves to sit with Michael and watch football. She also LOVES her sister. Every day when we pick Brennan up at school, Sawyer can be in the middle of a whine and the second she sees Brennan's face she smiles the sweetest little toothless grin at her. Then they talk to each other the whole way home. We have really started reading more books to Sawyer and she loves to have Brennan read to her. It is so sweet to watch Sawyer intently studying Brennan's face as she reads to her. She hangs on to every word.

Thanks for checking in on us!

This morning our adoption was finalized!!!!! YEAH!!! No more phone calls to check on us, no more social worker visits, no more notarized paperwork....DONE!! Everyone keeps asking the question "I thought is was final when you left Florida?". Well it was, but the state has to make sure through our social worker that we are taking adequate care of her. It was a quick 5 minute phone call with our FL attorney & the judge and we were done. I tried to get Brennan to miss school and make a little morning of it. Nope! She wanted to go to school and said we could handle it. I think we have had so many days that we have celebrated and "made a day" of it that she is over it. In her eyes, all these people should have quit calling us a couple of months ago. Anyway, we are finally done!!!

Mother of the Year....NOT!!!

Okay everyone out there trying to win the coveted title of "mother of the year". Sorry, I beat you to it. Today was Sawyer's dedication at our church. I had everything prepared and ready to go. Our family was coordinated and our clothes were pressed. Everything was perfect this morning. Except...I did not take one single picture!!! And b/c of that, I have awarded myself mother of the year. It seemed like the morning flew by and before I realized it, the day was over. My friend Ann is our preschool director and thankfully she has someone who takes pictures for families. So, in a couple of weeks I will have a few pictures of us to post. She did also inform me that they will send me a video of the service. YIPPEE!! Because my video camera was hanging out with my camera IN MY BAG!

Sawyer slept through the dedication service. Everything was perfect. It was great to be standing on that stage with the most wonderful nine year old God could have ever blessed us with and the most wonderful baby we thought we would never have. At our dedication services we choose life verses. As I said before, we had chosen Sawyer's life verse as Jeremiah 29:11. The entire scripture is over to the right. My favorite part of that verse is "plans to give you a hope and a future". How applicable to her life and ours. God truly had a plan to give Sawyer a hope and a future. Thankfully, He is letting us be a part of it. I can't wait to see His plan for her unfold. Everyday we get a new glimpse into her personality and it is precious!

In lieu of the beautiful dedication pictures you should be viewing, I will post other fun stuff.

Brennan made some type of goo at school similar to silly putty and decided to put scars on her face (I don't know either???)

Sawyer only sleeps with her face smashed into something

Brennan and our niece heading out to the Taylor Swift concert

Look at those expressive eyes...what is she thinking???

LOVE that smile!!!

Sawyer is itching to roll over---she is a wiggler

Sweet dreams

Rainbows & Promises

A few weeks ago, we were enjoying a dreary day at home. Brennan and my nephew had been playing inside and heard the rain start again. They ran onto the back porch to stand in the rain (the joys of being a kid...they didn't worry about their hair frizzing). As soon as they got outside they both began to scream for me to come. Now in our house, if you are in the backyard screaming it either means our dog ate something or an animal is in our yard. I stepped on the back porch only to turn and see the most AMAZING rainbow I have ever seen. The colors were so vivid. It was so incredibly tall. It seemed to stretch to heaven with a perfect curve. I grabbed my camera and snapped this picture.

We then ran to the front porch to see if we could get a better picture. As we open the door, the rain begins to pour, but not before we see....a complete rainbow. End to end, a perfect arch and we all three saw it. I have never seen a full, complete rainbow. I couldn't get a picture at the point because we were getting soaked. It never occurred to me to take one from inside?! (go figure). It took a few days to sink in what we had witnessed. The rainbow is the symbol of God's promise. A promise to guide us in the "storms" of our life and see us to the end. It is difficult to describe, but the past year has been the most difficult emotionally and the most rewarding emotionally. Having experienced both having a child biologically and through adoption, I can say adoption is ten thousand times more stressful. The entire experience is out of your hands.

God had promised us a child! We knew we were meant to adopt and that there was a child for us. Throughout everything God continually reassured us. Even when we doubted, He was constant, just like the rainbow. The rainbow we saw that day was God's sign that He kept His promise to us. What a beautiful reminder of the miracle we have in our home. I pray that I can take in all His blessings without having to see a "rainbow" to be reminded of them.

Sawyer's 2 Month Birthday

Two months ago today, our precious baby daughter was born.

isn't that outfit too cute! it was a gift from my friend Jennifer

Sawyer is already emerging with her own personality. She...

• can stand up in your lap and hold her own weight (okay do all 8 wk olds do this???)
• sticks her tongue out when she smiles

• sleeps great at night, well she gets up to eat but immediately goes back to sleep
• sleeps with one eye open (I think she is keeping one eye on us!)

• can fan her toes out (me & Brennan do this to gross Michael out)
• is VERY grumpy if you mess her nap up
• is very ticklish
• loves to be outside
• is blessed to have a big sister who adores her to pieces

And to update on Brennan (you know I can't leave her out). She...

• can stand almost perfect
• sticks her tongue out when she concentrates (just like Michael)
• has always been a GREAT sleeper
• sleeps with both eyes closed
• can fan her toes and is a part of the "Monkey Toes Club"
• is also grumpy if she hasn't had enough sleep
• is EXTREMELY ticklish
• would rather be inside reading a book
• is blessed to have a baby sister who will adore her more than anything
  
  

hahahahahahaha!!!!! I felt like I couldn't update Sawyer without updating Brennan.

These two months have flown by. Sometimes I wish time could slow down just so I could soak it all in. Sawyer is a beautiful little baby. She is amazingly strong; okay, I haven't been around that many babies to remember this age. But, trust me...she is strong!

This month is a big one for us. At the end of the month, we will dedicate Sawyer at our church. This a commitment for us to raise Sawyer according to His will. Then, the following week in October the adoption will be finalized. We will be completely done with all paperwork, social worker visits and phone calls to check on us! That has been relatively minuscule in the big picture, but we are just ready to have it all behind us!

New pictures

Sorry for the length between posts. We have been a little busy.

Here are a few pictures to catch you up.

We have been doing a lot of this

a little of this (this is Brennan's favorite picture by the way)

taking turns holding Sawyer

and my favorite, seeing her sweet smile

That smile just melts my heart!

(we were sitting in a parking lot by the way)

She will be seven weeks old tomorrow and is up to nine pounds. It cracks me up, because Brennan was exactly this size the day she came home from the hospital.

We are all doing great!!!! I have taken tons of pictures....250 to be exact! I felt like I was not taking enough pictures of Sawyer (everyone keeps telling me it like that with your second). Well, I was shocked at how many pictures I have taken. Of course, every single one will go in an album. That will be one thick album!!!

Thanks for checking in on us!

Grace

The word grace has always perplexed me. There are so many different sides to it. God extends grace to us (thank you God). You see, we all sin. But He doesn't have a master list of everything we have done wrong. When He forgives, He forgives and the slate is wiped clean. Only He can do this for you.

The day before we got the call saying Sawyer had been born, our Sunday School lesson was on grace. Not only God's grace, but do we extend that same grace to other people? Do we truly forgive them? It is hard to forget because things are so ingrained in our minds, but do we truly forgive? I have SO been guilty of saying I forgive someone, but when I see them the first thing I think of is whatever is was that happened. Sadly, a lot of people get "tagged" with their sin. They are only remembered by what they have done wrong. It scares me to think I am looked at for what I have done wrong...that is a very long list of wrongs to choose from.

The first time we saw Sawyer was on Tuesday morning. Michael and I were in the room with the birth mother and her mother. One of the first things the birth mother said was that she was so overwhelmed with God's grace. She went on to elaborate on how He had shown Himself to her and she had been thinking about that. How cool?! Michael told her that we had been talking the past few days about that. I pray that others around her extend grace to her. She and her family have remained in the same church they were in and I pray she is not forever tagged as the woman who gave up her baby. She did make unwise choices to lead her down this path. But, does that mean she should forever be reminded of it?? She is no different from me. I have made so many mistakes in my life and had to beg for forgiveness. (Her mistake was not choosing adoption, she had made a few "unwise" choices to put herself in this position). Again, both our slates are wiped clean...only by the GRACE of God. Thank you God!!!

Four weeks ago today!

I have always had a very close relationship with my calendar. I mean, I love to look back over the days & months and see how far we have come. Well, four weeks ago today at 4:30 pm we found out Sawyer was coming to our family forever. It seems like an eternity ago. Everything about that day is so vivid in my mind. I remember sitting in the waiting room pretending to be reading a magazine for over an hour, I remember Michael was hungry and tried to eat starburst but was too nervous to eat them, I remember swimming with Brennan earlier in the day wondering how our lives would change, but mostly I remember every detail of taking Sawyer out of the hospital and that she would be with us forever. We pulled over at a gas station immediately after leaving just so we could take her out of her car seat and let Brennan hold her. Brennan's face was priceless!!! I have never seen that much love and joy come out of a child. I know there will be new dates on my calendar to measure events by; but, I pray every feeling and emotion about that day stays with me forever. God is so good!! So many people have told us that Sawyer is so blessed to be in our family...if only they knew they had it wrong. We are soooo blessed to have her in our family!

It seems like yesterday we got the phone call

It is amazing. We have been home exactly one week. As I am typing this, I am holding the most precious little angel. I don't know exactly how long we should keep this site up. Michael and I both thought that since Sawyer is here, how much else would anyone want to hear about?! But, I do have a few more stories I want to tell. So, I guess when I run out of stories that will be that.

It literally seems like yesterday when we got the phone call saying we were matched. It was on a Tuesday in late February and we were in the car on the way home from school. I had Brennan and my nephew in the car with me. When the agency called I thought we were continuing a conversation we had the day before. You see, the social worker had called Monday to ask us if our profile could be given to a specific person. I thought that was odd they would ask me that, because surely they were showing it to anyone who wanted to see it. She explained that the birth mother was looking for a family without children, but that was out of state (FL). And you are telling me this because???? She explained her medical and social history. Michael and I discussed her situation later, but seriously did not put a lot into it. You get a few calls while you are waiting about different potential situations. So fast forward to the car ride home on Tuesday. The SW called again and explained the situation. Michael was also on the phone as a conference call (can we say I am a little slow?!). I thought nothing of it. The SW again explained the entire situation of the birth mother and that she is having a girl. I had to pull over on the side of the road so I did not lose the signal. I am still curious as to why she is telling me all this again. I heard her the day before explain that the birth mother did not want a family with children already. She talks for another 10 minutes and then says "what do you think?". OK, about what? She says "she wants your family and she loves Brennan". They had sent her home over the week-end with five profiles to choose from. They ask that you choose a 1st and a 2nd choice. The birth mother came back on Monday morning and said she only wanted us and no 2nd choice! AHHHHHH Brennan and my nephew jumped out of the car and ran circles around it screaming. They did this for probably 10 minutes. I think Michael and I both said yes immediately, but truthfully I do not remember much after that. I do know I managed to wrangle the kids back in the car and the first thing we did was pray for this birth mother and her circumstances. Obviously, she has a lot on her plate!

The following month Michael was gone out of town for almost a week and Brennan was spending the night away and everything hit me! I thought of a million "what if's". What if she changes her mind? What if nobody else chooses our family? What if this is not what God wants for us? I had a nice little pity party one night and literally cried myself to sleep. I have never been that low in my life. Satan saw a slight little weakness and doubt and swarmed in. I had a few friends give me words of wisdom that night that have stuck with me since. I also felt the Lord literally telling me "I've got this". That night I let everything go. I decided that I could in NO way change the outcome. The birth mother would make her decision and what I thought or felt would not affect it. I had such peace!!!! Oh what a life lesson; I have always tried to seek out the Lord's will for our family. That night taught me to just sit and LISTEN! He was speaking to me all along...I just didn't listen.

Again, all that seems like yesterday. Time has flown by and we have now been home a week! Every one is doing great and sleeping! Sawyer is slowly gaining weight. But, at least we are going in the right direction!

This is our latest little picture of Sawyer...isn't she toooo sweet!!!!!


Oh, did I mention......
WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never been so thrilled to be home in my life! Now, it all feels real! More updates soon!

We are still in Florida. Fl was done with our paper work on Wednesday...now we are just waiting on AL. Michael was able to come down for the week end. Now I am PRAYING we can come home early next week. Sawyer is doing great, but she is not a big eater!!!!

STILL in Florida

We are most likely going to be in Florida for the first month of Sawyer's life...just kidding! It feels like it though. I was hoping to be home by now, but that is not the case. Our case manager called yesterday to inform us that FL always electronically files paperwork for custody immediately and less than 1% chance of paperwork gets behind. We are officially in the elite "less than 1% group". A group I would GLADLY give up my membership to at this point. So, we are at the mercy of the state (that could be a cool book title for this experience). Maybe we will here something tomorrow!

Brennan's Baby Appointments for Sawyer

These are the times that have already been registered for time to hold Sawyer.

Friday July 17, 2009
Debbie Goodwin 2:00 P.M.
David Goodwin 3:00 P.M.

If you would like a time to hold the baby please post your time in comments and put your name in it too. If your computer will not let you post it in comments please just send it to Dotsoffaith@msn.com (you can also ask for any day you would like).

Jama Mayo gets any time she would like because she has not seen Sawyer yet!!!

Love, Brennan

Monday night I treated Brennan to a girl outing (minus Sawyer). We went to Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at Downtown Disney. She loves to get her hair done! We also ate nachos...the closest thing I have come to getting cheese dip. I have now gone over a week without cheese dip. I think I am going through some type of withdrawal.

Isn't Brennan's hair beautiful!!!

This is ALL Sawyer did while we were gone!!!

Well, we are one step closer to being home. We left Orlando and moved closer to the state line. I am sooooooo ready to be home and settled. But, I have to remind myself that a couple of weeks ago I would have given anything to be in this position WITH our new baby! So, now the whole patience thing comes back in to play. I always thought I was a patient person, again...kidding myself! Michael had to leave to go home today and get back to work. My mother was sweet enough to come back down and hang out with us. Hopefully it will only be a couple of more days. I am still so amazed at the past week we have had. Over two years ago God began nudging at my heart to adopt. It is so amazing when you are in the midst of something and fully aware of what He is doing!

Doctor visit

We went to re-check our weight this morning. Sawyer weighed 6 lbs 10 oz!!!!!!!! YIPPEE, she is cleared to travel now. The rest of the family didn't have their weight checked....we have not had a problem gaining weight since we have been out of town! We should know tomorrow when we can come home.

New pic's and stuff!

I forgot to put these pictures on my last post! They are two of my favorites from the day we took Sawyer home.

Michael and Brennan are looking through the nursery window at Sawyer, waiting to take her home! We were ready to go!!

Brennan and Sawyer (their very first picture as sisters!!!!!!). Brennan's smile was priceless!

Sawyer went to her first doctor appointment Friday morning. We really liked the Doctor; I think he is George Hamilton's long lost cousin (with some type of comb over thing). He was so funny. I pulled the camera out and he said "you need a picture with me don't you". He was very thorough and encouraged us to call anytime this week-end we needed him. And yes, we have called him twice.

Sawyer has lost more weight even since leaving the hospital. So, they are going to re-weigh her on Monday morning and if she has gained back up to 6 lbs 10 oz he will give the okay for her to travel. But the earliest we still could leave is Tuesday. All our paperwork is tied up in the swift, up-to-date Alabama court system; so right now we are at the mercy of the courts. We are SO okay with this because the WORST part is behind us. We are all enjoying our time right now as a little family of four.

Brennan has really enjoyed getting her rest. We have raised such a home body and she HAS NOT complained one time about being here. We actually have tried to get her to go more, but she just wants to be in the room with her sister. My parents were down this week with us to stay with Brennan while we went to the hospital the first couple of times. They all had planned a few visits to the parks; well, Sawyer came home and needless to say she did not go anywhere. Brennan would not leave her new sister. She did go to Downtown Disney though the morning we went to the doctor and bought Sawyer a special surprise. Can you tell how excited Sawyer was to get an Eeyore stuffed animal?!?!

And lastly, what a sweet baby!!!!!!!

Thanks for checking in on us.

The Many Moore's

Brennan took Sawyer to her first trip to Disney World to see her cousins, Katelyn & Kurtis, at the All-Star Music Resort. As you can tell Sawyer was very excited!!!

The post we thought would never come!

She is finally here!!!

Sawyer Addison Moore was born July 6, 2009 at 3:05 pm. She weighed 7 lbs 1 oz and was 19" long. She is TINY!!! (well compared to Brennan as a newborn baby).

Michael and I were able to see her in the hospital the next day. At the time it was very surreal and still is. It seemed like the day would never come and then it did! Tuesday was my emotional day. There were a lot of things still in question regarding the birth mother; she hit a very rough spot and unfortunately we were at the hospital and full aware of how she was wavering. The whole day Michael kept reminding me that it was completely out of our hands so we just needed to be ready to accept whatever God had planned for us. We went to the hospital in the middle of the night Tuesday night just to spend time with Sawyer. The hospital we were at has a separate room set up just for adoptive parents, very cool!! It was hysterical, we were in there with her maybe 3 minutes and I went to change her diaper and well....let's just say we were christened into baby hood again. We both had forgotten a lot of small details, like wait until they are completely done using the bathroom before you change a diaper. Needless to say, she does not have ANY bathroom issues!

The next day Wednesday we swam with Brennan at the pool and just hung out until after lunch. The birth mother could not sign until 3:00; so we were told to come around 3:15. Wednesday Michael and I did a complete flip-flop emotionally, he will LOVE it that I am saying this. He was a complete bundle of nerves the entire day and I must say I was cool as a cucumber. I would love to say it was complete faith, but probably more like sleep deprivation. But, thankfully I was there to remind him that "it is out of our hands" without missing a beat, remember the day before he was that way with me. We were in the waiting room at the hospital for almost 2 hours when our 2 coordinators walked through the big doors and .......nothing. They didn't look at us or make eye contact. Not kidding, 5 minutes and nothing! Both, our hearts dropped. And I am thinking, okay Lord you have us on this path but for this! I know we learn through both the good and the bad in life, but I was praying Lord please don't use this as a bad time we must learn from. Then what seemed like an eternity, really 5 minutes, our social worker turned around and gave us a thumbs up!!!!! Time flew after that and an hour later we were in the car leaving with our new baby girl.

Brennan has been on cloud nine. She counts the minutes other people can hold her. So, if you are planning on holding her before Sawyer turns one, you might want to get an appointment with Brennan first!

So much more to say, but that will have to wait for another day. This has been the most AMAZING journey we have ever been on as a family. God has revealed Himself to us in so many ways and we are so thankful for that!!! Please, please, please continue to pray for the birth mother. We will forever have a special place in our hearts for her. Unfortunately, we are in the best place right now and she is in the worst. She does have a wonderful support system around her. We also asked her a week ago what her favorite verse was. We were kind of thinking if it fit, it could be Sawyer's life verse. Her favorite is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future". We are honored to use the same verse she chose. How applicable to her and Sawyer's life.

Time to end this extremely long post, sorry our internet has been down for 3 days and it seemed like an eternity. Brennan just came to tell me that Sawyer is awake and smiling, so I have to go see this!

She is finally here.

The last few days have been a whirlwind of emotions. But we finally have her in our arms. As most of you can already tell this is not Tracy. (I know the fine writing was a clue) Tracy & Brennan are in the room with Sawyer sleeping. Our internet is not working at our condo so I had to go find a internet cafe to update you with pictures. By the way not many normal people in an internet cafe this morning. I have put together a quick slideshow of Sawyer. I hope it works. Tracy will update later with much more detail.

Michael

We got a phone call this morning that the BM was in the hospital and they are taking the baby today!!!!! We are heading to Orlando late this afternoon. There are so many things to pray for....a safe delivery, for the BM's ongoing emotional state, safe travels and more! We will update as soon as we can.

What a sister is like

Well to start of this is a little different than usual this time it is me writing on here (Brennan) and I am going to show how I feel about getting a new person in the family. For me getting a sister is like making a new friend but just thinking about it they will be with you forever not just until they move away like how friends do. The fun part about getting a baby sister is you get to do a lot more stuff than you used to you will have someone to play with and especially when they get to be 2 and 3 those are some of my favorite years with a baby. For one reason they are able to walk and they try to talk and you can't understand what they are saying and then you just have to nod and say yea. Those are some of the years when they start to do funny stuff and then they don't know why you are laughing. Well I guess that is all the time I have to talk so I will talk to you later.

It's getting close!

We have had a few "maybe" times in the past couple of weeks. Our agency has called twice with the news that the BM was in the hospital and they could take the baby the next day. Both times sent us scrambling to get ready. The last time, upon my sister-in-laws urging, we actually went and bought a few bottles and the much needed pacifiers. We have those, so we are ready! As of a few days ago, our social worker informed us that if the BM does go back in the hospital, she will stay and the baby will be born. So, now we are waiting! Thankfully, we have tons of things to occupy our time right now.

Sawyer's (did I mention that is the baby's name) room is finished. YEAH!!! We let Brennan choose the color scheme (mostly b/c I am extremely indecisive). She chose pink and chocolate. Her bedding (a gift from Nana) is a few shades of pink and chocolate....YUMMY! Michael thinks the walls look like ice cream, since they are pink on top and chocolate on the bottom with white molding in the middle.

We will update again soon! Happy 4th of July!!!

What an amazing week!

We have had a few new developments this month. We learned about a month ago that is was very important to our birth mother that she and I actually meet before the big day in July. GULP! I decided to look at this whole trip as something I could do for her, to make her more at peace with her decisions. After Michael and I talked about it we decided I would make the trip, without question and whatever happens, happens. We decided to make a girl trip out of it. My mom and Brennan flew down with me and we had time to swim and of course, go to Downtown Disney (one of Brennan's favorite places). It seems like the day we would finally meet came so quickly. She and I spent the day going to a doctor's appt, ultrasound and lunch. I got to watch the baby in action on the ultrasound. Technology is amazing, she was blinking her eyes! In the end, I got so much more out of the day! I really thought I was doing this for her...well, it affected me so much more than I thought it would. I met our birth mother! Now keep in mind, the entire day felt very surreal. I felt like I was watching someone else's life and story unfold. I am so glad I met her. Just to get a glimpse of who this little person will be in a few years. I really enjoyed it so much more than I could have ever imagined. We will be very blessed to have this precious child have her outgoing personality. But, in the end, it is her decision. We are all at peace with this entire situation. There was a period of time when I let "all the questions" consume me. But, God knows how this story is going to unfold. He already knows how this will end and if this is the child we end up with. He knows all this! If we were to let all the negative thoughts consume our lives, we would be miserable and it would in NO WAY affect the outcome. I could worry all day, every day, but in the end it is her decision....not ours! I am praying for peace for this mother. She is in a hard place in her life and is ready for this to be behind her. It breaks my heart for what she is going through (not because this could be our child, but because she is another human being in a bad place in her life).

Time has flown by SO INCREDIBLY FAST!!! I was worried in the beginning that I would be watching the clock and crossing off the days. Now, I wish time could just stop for a bit and let us catch our breath.

Lots to update on

Well, quite a few things have happened in the past few months. We have learned more about this precious child and the birth mother. She is due by c-section on July 9th but cannot sign her paperwork until July 11th under FL law. The birth mother and I have communicated by e-mail (through our social worker only) over the past couple of months. This situation took a while to adjust to (the fact that she and I would communicate). I have since accepted it this way...should this child end up ours, I want to soak in all I can about the birth mother so that one day I can tell her what she was like. Because, as much as everyone wants to believe she won't, one day it would be only natural for our child to want to know what her birth mother was like. I want to give this woman all the credibility I can. She is worthy of our respect! I cannot imagine the emotions she must be going through and I won't pretend that I know. But, I do know that she is doing the most selfless thing a human being can do. She has pushed all her own emotions aside and is trying to do what is best for this child. Of course, she can change her mind and she possibly might. But, at the end of the day, she could make that decision and there is not one thing I can do about it. We have chosen to not let this consume our lives. I could worry, cry and be obsessive every minute...but that will in no way affect her decision in July. If this child is meant to be with us...God will place her in our arms. And if not, there is another baby who needed us more. We have chosen to look at this whole situation in a positive light and take each day as it comes. Thanks for checking in on us!

How it all began.....

First let me say, I am a very private person by nature. Through the urging of Brennan (can you say she is excited?) we are now putting our lives out there for everyone to see. God has moved in amazing ways in our lives the past few years and it is now time to let others know exactly how far we have come. This all began about three years ago. I had always felt a pulling towards adoption. I applaud anyone who can take in any child, any circumstance and wholly love it as their own. That process has always amazed me. Michael was wanting to have another child and even had Brennan on board picking out names. We tried for a little while, but that was not meant to be. During this time, I began my bargaining with God. You know, if you do this then I'll do that. I am ashamed to admit that is exactly how this entire adoption process was started and even more ashamed that I thought I could bargain with Him. My first bargain was about my work. My mother and I had owned a children's clothing store for nine years. We were both burned out, but didn't know the other felt that way. After praying, one day the subject came up and we both had the same thoughts. Of course, I still needed income (because I knew I had an adoption to pay for). One of our wholesale rep's looked at some of our art work one day and said she thought she could sell it for us. That was all it took. Within a month we decided to close the store in January 2007 and never looked back. Thank you God! My next obstacle was Michael. His response to my questions were always the same. "Michael, (with my sweet voice) can we adopt a baby?", and his response was a "no". I could feel God telling me to be patient. I have always thought I was a very patient person, but He has reminded me that I was totally kidding myself with that one. I decided to give Michael time, a year to be exact. All along the way, I dropped little hints. December of 2007 Michael and I were eating lunch one day, I asked my same question "what do you think about adoption?". His response was if we weren't pregnant by August he thought we could try that route. After I picked my chin up off the floor, I smiled for the entire day. I called a couple of people and my secret prayers began. Time quickly passed and in June Michael was leaving to go on his annual mission trip and casually mentioned maybe we could give the adoption thing a try. I let him know that I wasn't in it for the maybe's; I only wanted the green light to go ahead. At this point, I will honestly wholeheartedly admit....I was freaked out!!! I had prayed for this for years and now that I thought it could be a possibility, I was scared! What have I possibly done? I told him to go on his mission trip and we could discuss it when he came back. I really thought he would forget, end of story. Well, he comes back and a few weeks later the idea comes up again. Again, I make it known we are only discussing it fully if it is a GO. I didn't want to get my hopes up and then be disappointed. Michael told me we could start investigating the process. So, by August I had found a social worker to do our home study and an agency we would use. Through a few hurdles, our home study was complete in December and on January 16th we officially went into the pool for adoption. Amazingly weeks later in February we got a phone call saying we were chosen. This situation was perfect! We are continuing to pray if this is God's will that this precious little girl will be ours. So now we wait...