Time flies

OK did we drop off the face of the earth???? I can't believe it has been so long since I updated.

Goodness time flies when you're having fun!!! Sawyer is growing by leaps and bounds. We definitely have a future GYMNAST or swimmer on our hands (sorry I am kind of partial to one). Sawyer began taking steps two weeks after she turned 8 months. By 9 months she had a full fledged walk/hurried walk going. She is just so busy. She wakes up in the morning and walks literally 2 hours around the house. She plays hard and sleeps hard (thankfully). Food is still not a big thing in her book. I don't get that! We are working on trying to new things. Sawyer is content to take a bottle and play.

Brennan turned ten a few weeks ago. I really thought I would be sad about it. But, I love watching her evolve into a young girl. I am loving watching her submerge herself in all her activities. I love it that she likes to dip her hand in a lot of hobbies just like me. I love to try anything creative, at least once. I still love watching her relationship with Sawyer. They both light up when they see each other. Brennan loves to wake Sawyer up in the mornings. Sawyer gets so excited when she sees Brennan! One of their favorite things to do together is read books. Sawyer has a favorite book, BunBun that we can all quote word for word. If she ever cries, you can say the first few lines of her book and she makes her ooooh face and listens!

1 year ago!

Exactly one year ago today we got a phone call that would change our family forever. Those of you who know me well, know that I am very sketchy on details. Especially if they are over 24 hours old. I am very much the "out of sight out of mind" type person. But, I remember everything about February 24th 2009. I remember picking Brennan and my nephew up at school. I remember taking them for ice cream and laughing the whole time. I remember feeling that "we had the best day ever". Yet, I didn't imagine receiving one phone call that day that would for sure make it "the best day". We were coming home in the car with the radio up loud singing Taylor Swift at the top of our lungs when my phone rang. After quieting the kids down I answered to hear the words that we were chosen. The second, literally, my phone rang Brennan knew what it was. Before I answered she said "someone chose us". I vividly remember pulling over on the side of the road to talk. Here is where my details are sketchy because in all the excitement, I am not sure I really listened to much of the details. All I heard was "someone loves your family". Then I remember Brennan and Kurtis running laps around my car and then running out in a field screaming. Kurtis was too precious. He knew we were hoping for someone to join our family. But he was so excited that day because Brennan was so happy. He was thrilled for her. Never in a million years could I have pictured this past year to unfold the way it did. Of course, we prayed for it to be that way, but it was so perfect! Sawyer is such a perfect fit for our family!!! Everything she does, from milestones to food, she does it her own way. With no rhyme or reason; very much a "Moore" thing. We are blessed beyond words and so thankful that we have family & friends who want to share our joy with us.

My soapbox

What do you say? How do you respond? I love to get questions about Sawyer, adoption, family, anything. But, I am always amazed at what people feel they can say. I always jokingly tell Michael (well, okay I mean it for real) to run stuff by me before he says it to other people and vice versa. I feel some people totally lack that filter. Now being completely honest, I am known for sticking my foot completely in my mouth and down my throat. I don't like it when people tell me to "not say something" because I become so fixated on that I am convinced it will slip out at some point. I have been asked in the last few weeks the following questions...

• I know it is impossible to love Sawyer as much as Brennan your biological child (not a question, but a statement). They weren't questioning, they really knew it "could not be possible".

• How can you possibly send anything to Sawyer's birth mother?



• You aren't going to tell Sawyer about her story, are you?

Are you kidding me?????? I would NEVER deny Sawyer of her story. We love her birth mother and genuinely care about her, one because she is a human being and two because she is Sawyer's birth mother. Why would we ever deny Sawyer of her amazing journey to us. A journey showing God's love and grace. We send updates to her birth mother because I gave her my word that we would. No, we are not really legally bound to do so. We did sign paperwork saying we would on a certain schedule. But, if we don't send anything there isn't anything anyone could do about it. We send it simply because we said we would. It is very important in the healing process to let her see how Sawyer is growing and developing. That she is in a loving home smothered with entirely too many kisses.

And to answer how do we love her like we do Brennan....again, are you kidding me???? I am not biologically related to my husband, his family, his niece or nephew. But, I would give my life for his family. Sawyer is a permanent member of our family. And truthfully, we are at a point now where 99% of the time I forget her story. Okay not forget, it is just not something I am consumed with hourly. I often think, she will do something just like Brennan did, wonder if she will have asthma like Brennan...I forget. I went to the dr a few weeks ago, nothing serious. He went over my labs and proceeded to tell me some of them were normal given Sawyer was born a few months ago. I get in the car to leave and realize that I didn't tell him that I did not give birth to her. I forgot! And for that matter, I don't believe physically giving birth to a child is what makes that child a member of your family. Families are created with all kinds of dynamics. Sadly, society has closed their eyes and sometimes ears to this. Instead of being so fixated on who doesn't belong, let's focus on who does belong.

I so did not mean to get on my soap box this morning, okay maybe I did. I just want people to be more understanding. Just because you can't understand someone's situation, it doesn't make it wrong. We all go through life on different paths. We are all called to do different things. I pray this experience has made me more caring & thoughtful regarding other peoples situations.

Sawyer is 6 months old!

Sawyer turned 6 months old a few weeks ago!!!!!

She is into everything. We are big on celebrating milestones around big days. So 2 days before she turned 6 months she started crawling everywhere and 1 day before she started pulling up to a stand. My, my, we are in trouble! She still does not sit on her rump like a normal baby. Oh no, we do things different in our family. Sawyer has always sat up on her knees and bounced up and down (kind of like Tigger). When I try to put her down on her rear, she leans forward and gets up on her knees. Too cute!!!!!

Sawyer also had her first busted lip this week. It swelled up pretty quick. As I am typing this...she fell again and her lip is bleeding (she is okay). She is so busy! The girl has no fear. She will stand up and let go of whatever she is holding onto. Which is why the activity table in the picture above DOES NOT have legs on it.

Happy 6 month Birthday sweet baby girl!

Grace or lack there of

On Saturday Brennan had a basketball game at our church. About five minutes before the game Brennan and her friends were playing. They were running around and Brennan tripped. For the whole game she told us her foot was hurting and she couldn't play. So Michael let her sit on the bench with ice (he's the coach) and watch.

On Monday it was still sore so we went to the doctor to get it checked out. We were there about thirty minutes and the doctor came in and said "well it's broke!". She has a broken bone in the top of her foot. We were all shocked!!! Isn't it beautiful!!!

Brennan's favorite color is orange, NOT Tennessee orange as the doctor said. Just plain orange. We had to write her name on the bottom. You know in Toy Story, Andy wrote his name on the bottom of all his toys in case they were lost. Just in case we lose Brennan, her name is on the bottom of her foot.

and the stockings were hung...

We finally got our stockings hung this past week. We have had our trees/decorations up for a few weeks. But, Sawyer's stocking was still not monogrammed and she just couldn't be up there without a name. I bought new stockings about 5 years ago. They aren't necessarily my taste now, but Brennan loves them and so they stay. When I originally found them, I bought 3; well, because there were only 3 of us. The following year I was in TJ Maxx and found this stocking that matched ours and I quickly snatched it up!

I knew one day we would have another name to put on it. Michael of course thought I was crazy. He just didn't get it. Even then, I knew there was a child meant to join our family. So, after 4 years I pulled the last stocking out of the closet and after adding Sawyer's name, it takes its rightful place on our mantle.

And we have 4 beautifully hung stockings. I waited so long to hang this last one. If it weren't so tacky to do so, I would keep them all hung year round! I tell this story now, because had I said all this 4 years ago you all would have thought I was crazy. Just in case you are wondering, I have not purchased any more stockings.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas!!!

Brennan won the cookie contest!

Brennan has been talking about a cookie contest at school for months. They finally had it on Monday. The entire 4th grade participated and all the recipes were voted on by the children. The winner gets their recipe published in the county 4-H cookbook. Brennan wanted to make my Great Aunt Mamie's famous peanut butter cookies. Those cookies bring back a flood of memories. Anyway, there were 15 kids in her class that participated. I pulled up at the school to pick Brennan up and she had a HUGE smile on her face. Guess what???

She won 1st place in her class and is going to be in the cookbook!

I meant to post this with the violin recital pictures. But, Sawyer is NEVER still. I am not exaggerating. That girl is always on the go. However, she gets completely still when Brennan plays her violin. The weeks leading up to the recital when Brennan was practicing more, Sawyer would just stare at Brennan as she played.

Isn't that too sweet!!!

December already!!!

I cannot believe it is December already. This is my MOST favorite time of year. I love all the lights, the trees, the decorations, the food, the baking...I love it all!!! I do not like crowds, but I love the crowded stores where people act as if the world will come to an end if they do not have a specific doll by today (3 weeks before Christmas). Sadly, most people get caught up in what they need to do at Christmas that the "true" meaning of Christmas is forgotten. I definitely include myself in this. I find myself going through a day with a checklist and forgetting WHO my checklist is about. Christmas is not about the lights, the food :( and the gifts. Christmas IS about celebrating the birth of our Savior! Anyway, I didn't mean to get sidetracked, but I love this time of year.

Our family is doing great! Sawyer is growing and changing. She is 5 months old TODAY and is a wiggler (do I say that a lot??). Her latest trick is pushing up on all fours and rock back and forth. She desperately wants to move. She had a doctors appt a few weeks ago and he commented on her need to move and that she will probably walk early. I say all this NOT to brag, I say this because I am scared!!! We are not ready for her to be that mobile. Sawyer's little personality continues to make us laugh.

She still does not love food. She might take a few bites and then gets sidetracked. This is usually how we end up.

Brennan had her violin Christmas recital yesterday and played beautifully!!! She played Allegro and did not miss a note. She picked out her recital outfit and was thrilled when the store had a matching dress for Sawyer.

Have a very blessed Christmas season!!!!

Brennan's podcast

Brennan wanted to record her view of adoption. We are so blessed to have her still be so excited about her sister. Her nine year old heart has been touched by the whole adoption process. She often talks about when she gets married not having bio children, only adopting. It has been so cool to see this through her eyes. Check out her latest idea. She is also writing a book for children about adoption. Her wheels are always turning!

Moving & Shaking

Okay I know I keep saying Sawyer is a wiggler. Her doctor even commented on her need to always move at her last appointment. Well, the funniest thing happened the end of September (when she was 2 1/2 months old). I laid her on her play mat in the living room. I went in the kitchen to wash a couple of bottles. After a few minutes she started crying. Not loud crying, just the whining crying like "come talk to me". I went back in the living room and here is what I found.

She, in a period of a few minutes, had scooted herself off the mat and was wiggling across the hardwoods. She did find a flip-flop along the way and proceeded to swing it over her head. We are in trouble when this girl starts really moving. She is ALWAYS wiggling.

Well, a few days after the wiggling incidences began Sawyer turned three months old. And to celebrate her birthday she began rolling both directions within a week. We knew the rolling was coming. When it actually happened Brennan and I were sitting on the living room floor with her. Brennan and I were consumed with trying on these cute new boots Brennan got. We turned around to see this sweet face staring back at us. Sadly, we missed the first roll!

This girl loves to move!!! She also loves to sit with Michael and watch football. She also LOVES her sister. Every day when we pick Brennan up at school, Sawyer can be in the middle of a whine and the second she sees Brennan's face she smiles the sweetest little toothless grin at her. Then they talk to each other the whole way home. We have really started reading more books to Sawyer and she loves to have Brennan read to her. It is so sweet to watch Sawyer intently studying Brennan's face as she reads to her. She hangs on to every word.

Thanks for checking in on us!

This morning our adoption was finalized!!!!! YEAH!!! No more phone calls to check on us, no more social worker visits, no more notarized paperwork....DONE!! Everyone keeps asking the question "I thought is was final when you left Florida?". Well it was, but the state has to make sure through our social worker that we are taking adequate care of her. It was a quick 5 minute phone call with our FL attorney & the judge and we were done. I tried to get Brennan to miss school and make a little morning of it. Nope! She wanted to go to school and said we could handle it. I think we have had so many days that we have celebrated and "made a day" of it that she is over it. In her eyes, all these people should have quit calling us a couple of months ago. Anyway, we are finally done!!!

Mother of the Year....NOT!!!

Okay everyone out there trying to win the coveted title of "mother of the year". Sorry, I beat you to it. Today was Sawyer's dedication at our church. I had everything prepared and ready to go. Our family was coordinated and our clothes were pressed. Everything was perfect this morning. Except...I did not take one single picture!!! And b/c of that, I have awarded myself mother of the year. It seemed like the morning flew by and before I realized it, the day was over. My friend Ann is our preschool director and thankfully she has someone who takes pictures for families. So, in a couple of weeks I will have a few pictures of us to post. She did also inform me that they will send me a video of the service. YIPPEE!! Because my video camera was hanging out with my camera IN MY BAG!

Sawyer slept through the dedication service. Everything was perfect. It was great to be standing on that stage with the most wonderful nine year old God could have ever blessed us with and the most wonderful baby we thought we would never have. At our dedication services we choose life verses. As I said before, we had chosen Sawyer's life verse as Jeremiah 29:11. The entire scripture is over to the right. My favorite part of that verse is "plans to give you a hope and a future". How applicable to her life and ours. God truly had a plan to give Sawyer a hope and a future. Thankfully, He is letting us be a part of it. I can't wait to see His plan for her unfold. Everyday we get a new glimpse into her personality and it is precious!

In lieu of the beautiful dedication pictures you should be viewing, I will post other fun stuff.

Brennan made some type of goo at school similar to silly putty and decided to put scars on her face (I don't know either???)

Sawyer only sleeps with her face smashed into something

Brennan and our niece heading out to the Taylor Swift concert

Look at those expressive eyes...what is she thinking???

LOVE that smile!!!

Sawyer is itching to roll over---she is a wiggler

Sweet dreams

Rainbows & Promises

A few weeks ago, we were enjoying a dreary day at home. Brennan and my nephew had been playing inside and heard the rain start again. They ran onto the back porch to stand in the rain (the joys of being a kid...they didn't worry about their hair frizzing). As soon as they got outside they both began to scream for me to come. Now in our house, if you are in the backyard screaming it either means our dog ate something or an animal is in our yard. I stepped on the back porch only to turn and see the most AMAZING rainbow I have ever seen. The colors were so vivid. It was so incredibly tall. It seemed to stretch to heaven with a perfect curve. I grabbed my camera and snapped this picture.

We then ran to the front porch to see if we could get a better picture. As we open the door, the rain begins to pour, but not before we see....a complete rainbow. End to end, a perfect arch and we all three saw it. I have never seen a full, complete rainbow. I couldn't get a picture at the point because we were getting soaked. It never occurred to me to take one from inside?! (go figure). It took a few days to sink in what we had witnessed. The rainbow is the symbol of God's promise. A promise to guide us in the "storms" of our life and see us to the end. It is difficult to describe, but the past year has been the most difficult emotionally and the most rewarding emotionally. Having experienced both having a child biologically and through adoption, I can say adoption is ten thousand times more stressful. The entire experience is out of your hands.

God had promised us a child! We knew we were meant to adopt and that there was a child for us. Throughout everything God continually reassured us. Even when we doubted, He was constant, just like the rainbow. The rainbow we saw that day was God's sign that He kept His promise to us. What a beautiful reminder of the miracle we have in our home. I pray that I can take in all His blessings without having to see a "rainbow" to be reminded of them.

Sawyer's 2 Month Birthday

Two months ago today, our precious baby daughter was born.

isn't that outfit too cute! it was a gift from my friend Jennifer

Sawyer is already emerging with her own personality. She...

• can stand up in your lap and hold her own weight (okay do all 8 wk olds do this???)
• sticks her tongue out when she smiles

• sleeps great at night, well she gets up to eat but immediately goes back to sleep
• sleeps with one eye open (I think she is keeping one eye on us!)

• can fan her toes out (me & Brennan do this to gross Michael out)
• is VERY grumpy if you mess her nap up
• is very ticklish
• loves to be outside
• is blessed to have a big sister who adores her to pieces

And to update on Brennan (you know I can't leave her out). She...

• can stand almost perfect
• sticks her tongue out when she concentrates (just like Michael)
• has always been a GREAT sleeper
• sleeps with both eyes closed
• can fan her toes and is a part of the "Monkey Toes Club"
• is also grumpy if she hasn't had enough sleep
• is EXTREMELY ticklish
• would rather be inside reading a book
• is blessed to have a baby sister who will adore her more than anything
  
  

hahahahahahaha!!!!! I felt like I couldn't update Sawyer without updating Brennan.

These two months have flown by. Sometimes I wish time could slow down just so I could soak it all in. Sawyer is a beautiful little baby. She is amazingly strong; okay, I haven't been around that many babies to remember this age. But, trust me...she is strong!

This month is a big one for us. At the end of the month, we will dedicate Sawyer at our church. This a commitment for us to raise Sawyer according to His will. Then, the following week in October the adoption will be finalized. We will be completely done with all paperwork, social worker visits and phone calls to check on us! That has been relatively minuscule in the big picture, but we are just ready to have it all behind us!

New pictures

Sorry for the length between posts. We have been a little busy.

Here are a few pictures to catch you up.

We have been doing a lot of this

a little of this (this is Brennan's favorite picture by the way)

taking turns holding Sawyer

and my favorite, seeing her sweet smile

That smile just melts my heart!

(we were sitting in a parking lot by the way)

She will be seven weeks old tomorrow and is up to nine pounds. It cracks me up, because Brennan was exactly this size the day she came home from the hospital.

We are all doing great!!!! I have taken tons of pictures....250 to be exact! I felt like I was not taking enough pictures of Sawyer (everyone keeps telling me it like that with your second). Well, I was shocked at how many pictures I have taken. Of course, every single one will go in an album. That will be one thick album!!!

Thanks for checking in on us!

Grace

The word grace has always perplexed me. There are so many different sides to it. God extends grace to us (thank you God). You see, we all sin. But He doesn't have a master list of everything we have done wrong. When He forgives, He forgives and the slate is wiped clean. Only He can do this for you.

The day before we got the call saying Sawyer had been born, our Sunday School lesson was on grace. Not only God's grace, but do we extend that same grace to other people? Do we truly forgive them? It is hard to forget because things are so ingrained in our minds, but do we truly forgive? I have SO been guilty of saying I forgive someone, but when I see them the first thing I think of is whatever is was that happened. Sadly, a lot of people get "tagged" with their sin. They are only remembered by what they have done wrong. It scares me to think I am looked at for what I have done wrong...that is a very long list of wrongs to choose from.

The first time we saw Sawyer was on Tuesday morning. Michael and I were in the room with the birth mother and her mother. One of the first things the birth mother said was that she was so overwhelmed with God's grace. She went on to elaborate on how He had shown Himself to her and she had been thinking about that. How cool?! Michael told her that we had been talking the past few days about that. I pray that others around her extend grace to her. She and her family have remained in the same church they were in and I pray she is not forever tagged as the woman who gave up her baby. She did make unwise choices to lead her down this path. But, does that mean she should forever be reminded of it?? She is no different from me. I have made so many mistakes in my life and had to beg for forgiveness. (Her mistake was not choosing adoption, she had made a few "unwise" choices to put herself in this position). Again, both our slates are wiped clean...only by the GRACE of God. Thank you God!!!

Four weeks ago today!

I have always had a very close relationship with my calendar. I mean, I love to look back over the days & months and see how far we have come. Well, four weeks ago today at 4:30 pm we found out Sawyer was coming to our family forever. It seems like an eternity ago. Everything about that day is so vivid in my mind. I remember sitting in the waiting room pretending to be reading a magazine for over an hour, I remember Michael was hungry and tried to eat starburst but was too nervous to eat them, I remember swimming with Brennan earlier in the day wondering how our lives would change, but mostly I remember every detail of taking Sawyer out of the hospital and that she would be with us forever. We pulled over at a gas station immediately after leaving just so we could take her out of her car seat and let Brennan hold her. Brennan's face was priceless!!! I have never seen that much love and joy come out of a child. I know there will be new dates on my calendar to measure events by; but, I pray every feeling and emotion about that day stays with me forever. God is so good!! So many people have told us that Sawyer is so blessed to be in our family...if only they knew they had it wrong. We are soooo blessed to have her in our family!

It seems like yesterday we got the phone call

It is amazing. We have been home exactly one week. As I am typing this, I am holding the most precious little angel. I don't know exactly how long we should keep this site up. Michael and I both thought that since Sawyer is here, how much else would anyone want to hear about?! But, I do have a few more stories I want to tell. So, I guess when I run out of stories that will be that.

It literally seems like yesterday when we got the phone call saying we were matched. It was on a Tuesday in late February and we were in the car on the way home from school. I had Brennan and my nephew in the car with me. When the agency called I thought we were continuing a conversation we had the day before. You see, the social worker had called Monday to ask us if our profile could be given to a specific person. I thought that was odd they would ask me that, because surely they were showing it to anyone who wanted to see it. She explained that the birth mother was looking for a family without children, but that was out of state (FL). And you are telling me this because???? She explained her medical and social history. Michael and I discussed her situation later, but seriously did not put a lot into it. You get a few calls while you are waiting about different potential situations. So fast forward to the car ride home on Tuesday. The SW called again and explained the situation. Michael was also on the phone as a conference call (can we say I am a little slow?!). I thought nothing of it. The SW again explained the entire situation of the birth mother and that she is having a girl. I had to pull over on the side of the road so I did not lose the signal. I am still curious as to why she is telling me all this again. I heard her the day before explain that the birth mother did not want a family with children already. She talks for another 10 minutes and then says "what do you think?". OK, about what? She says "she wants your family and she loves Brennan". They had sent her home over the week-end with five profiles to choose from. They ask that you choose a 1st and a 2nd choice. The birth mother came back on Monday morning and said she only wanted us and no 2nd choice! AHHHHHH Brennan and my nephew jumped out of the car and ran circles around it screaming. They did this for probably 10 minutes. I think Michael and I both said yes immediately, but truthfully I do not remember much after that. I do know I managed to wrangle the kids back in the car and the first thing we did was pray for this birth mother and her circumstances. Obviously, she has a lot on her plate!

The following month Michael was gone out of town for almost a week and Brennan was spending the night away and everything hit me! I thought of a million "what if's". What if she changes her mind? What if nobody else chooses our family? What if this is not what God wants for us? I had a nice little pity party one night and literally cried myself to sleep. I have never been that low in my life. Satan saw a slight little weakness and doubt and swarmed in. I had a few friends give me words of wisdom that night that have stuck with me since. I also felt the Lord literally telling me "I've got this". That night I let everything go. I decided that I could in NO way change the outcome. The birth mother would make her decision and what I thought or felt would not affect it. I had such peace!!!! Oh what a life lesson; I have always tried to seek out the Lord's will for our family. That night taught me to just sit and LISTEN! He was speaking to me all along...I just didn't listen.

Again, all that seems like yesterday. Time has flown by and we have now been home a week! Every one is doing great and sleeping! Sawyer is slowly gaining weight. But, at least we are going in the right direction!

This is our latest little picture of Sawyer...isn't she toooo sweet!!!!!


Oh, did I mention......
WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never been so thrilled to be home in my life! Now, it all feels real! More updates soon!

We are still in Florida. Fl was done with our paper work on Wednesday...now we are just waiting on AL. Michael was able to come down for the week end. Now I am PRAYING we can come home early next week. Sawyer is doing great, but she is not a big eater!!!!